I watched with equal parts awe and disgust as John Mark Karr expertly deflected softballs on "Larry King Live" Monday night. Is there a bigger patsy on TV? God bless him, he was probably dazed by his own flatulence — rumor has it Larry is prone to passing gas uncontrollably — but I’ve never seen anyone less prepared and more overmatched. There were only two questions to ask JMK:
*If you didn’t kill JonBenet Ramsey, why did you say you did?;
*What is your fascination with little girls? You married a 13-year-old when you were 19 (call me, Larry, I’ve got the documents, and I interviewed the bride. She doesn’t paint a pretty picture. Maybe you should’ve had a producer read the court filing — it’s called research).
Larry asked neither. JMK wouldn’t have answered, anyway, "on the advice of counsel." Then why have him on your show? Why give him a platform?
Larry interviewed Karr as if he were the innocent victim of an overzealous prosecutor. Damn the confession — JMK said he never made it, even though it was recorded on tape. Naturally, Larry didn’t press. Ever wonder why he gets all the big interviews?
(Demonstrating that he’s memorized the playbook, Karr blamed the media for reporting what he said.)
Oh yeah, and he’s considering writing a book, and fielding movie offers — he’s even hired an entertainment attorney. Finally, he wants everyone to know he’s not a pedophile, although it’s clear he is. Or maybe he just played one on TV, proving again that if you want fame bad enough, it’s there for the taking.
(Bad news for us locals: Karr said he’s moving back to Atlanta, claiming "he’ll hold his head high." Parents, hide your daughters.)
Next, we have Madonna, who just abducted a one-year-old African boy as an accessory. The Material Cunt (I use the word advisedly) was defended by the usual array of entertainment media whores celebrating her entitlement. Forget that she avoids the rules of adoption. She’s Madonna. She shouldn’t have to explain her actions, or follow precedent.
And who really cares if she wants to exploit Africa by pimping her money grubbing cult? She’s the Golden Calf. Let us all bow down before Her Excellence (gay people, please reconsider your blind allegiance).
I hope Islamic extremists weren’t watching cable news tonight, because they’ve been given plenty of fodder for their next propaganda video.