Sonny Don’t

About a dozen years ago, I called Larry Munson’s talk show, masquerading as "Roy from Midtown." Bobby Bubbles and I spent (spend) a lot of time mocking the fans of our alma mater, and on this day I decided to take it public, complaining to Larry on air about the "biasness" of coverage against the Bulldogs.

Such whining is common from most Georgia fans, particularly in reference to the fishwrapper based in the godless ATL. Of course, that disdain for our state’s capital has plenty to do with the fact Atlanta is home to a majority minority population. Oh yeah, and lots of fags live there, too.

Unfortunately, so does Sonny Perdue.

Who woulda thought our governor would one day follow Roy from Midtown’s lead? Apparently the "Sonny Do" list includes writing an irrational letter to the editor of the local daily (along with visiting Jerry Falwell’s church in Virginia). I guess this means we’re Alabama now —

I finally figured out why your readers no longer have confidence in your opinion.

Sunday’s sports page headline ("Dogs get put in their place," referring to Georgia’s 51-33 loss to Tennessee, College Football, Oct. 8) is an indication of the way The Atlanta Journal-Constitution views Georgia. From the front page to the business page and now to the sports page, it is as if the AJC gleefully awaits lousy news about all things Georgia and pounces with their poison pens whenever bad things happen to the good people of our state.

Other cities celebrate the successes and mourn the losses of local businesses, individuals and sports teams. The AJC takes the opposite position and — instead of boosterism — criticizes, investigates and ridicules all things Georgia.

The AJC, not UGA, is the real loser. In its mean-spirited delight over misfortunes, it has squandered the precious First Amendment right to influence and thus be considered a trustworthy source of objectivity. No wonder more and more people are tuning you out and turning you off.

Sonny’s preferred headline: Dawg-gonnit! Valiant Bulldogs lose to inferior team from Tennessee

Hey, dumbass, shouldn’t you be more worried about the low graduation rates of UGA athletes? Or maybe you should try governing for a change. And how ’bout actually reading the paper you criticize — AJC columnist Mark Bradley has his tongue so far up UGA Coach Mark "Preacher" Richt’s sphincter he might as well have it surgically attached.

Obviously, Sonny has no idea how the press works (or doesn’t care). We ain’t your publicity organ. The GOV is lucky he lives in a state with only one major newspaper, one that doesn’t have a sterling reputation for investigative journalism. Fortunately, that’s starting to change — maybe Sonny’s getting nervous.

Regrettably, AJC editor Julia Wallace chose to capitulate to the numbskullery of our governor, effectively apologizing for fair coverage:

"Georgia can’t win every game, and we can’t get every headline just right," said Journal-Constitution Editor Julia Wallace. "Fortunately, our avid readers, including the governor, help keep us straight."

Way to pander to a panderer, Julia.

I’m embarrassed for us all.

Sonny Don’t

About a dozen years ago, I called Larry Munson’s talk show, masquerading as "Roy from Midtown." Bobby Bubbles and I spent (spend) a lot of time mocking the fans of our alma mater, and on this day I decided to take it public, complaining to Larry on air about the "biasness" of coverage against the Bulldogs.

Such whining is common from most Georgia fans, particularly in reference to the fishwrapper based in the godless ATL. Of course, that disdain for our state’s capital has plenty to do with the fact Atlanta is home to a majority minority population. Oh yeah, and lots of fags live there, too.

Unfortunately, so does Sonny Perdue.

Who woulda thought our governor would one day follow Roy from Midtown’s lead? Apparently the "Sonny Do" list includes writing an irrational letter to the editor of the local daily (along with visiting Jerry Falwell’s church in Virginia). I guess this means we’re Alabama now —

I finally figured out why your readers no longer have confidence in your opinion.

Sunday’s sports page headline ("Dogs get put in their place," referring to Georgia’s 51-33 loss to Tennessee, College Football, Oct. 8) is an indication of the way The Atlanta Journal-Constitution views Georgia. From the front page to the business page and now to the sports page, it is as if the AJC gleefully awaits lousy news about all things Georgia and pounces with their poison pens whenever bad things happen to the good people of our state.

Other cities celebrate the successes and mourn the losses of local businesses, individuals and sports teams. The AJC takes the opposite position and — instead of boosterism — criticizes, investigates and ridicules all things Georgia.

The AJC, not UGA, is the real loser. In its mean-spirited delight over misfortunes, it has squandered the precious First Amendment right to influence and thus be considered a trustworthy source of objectivity. No wonder more and more people are tuning you out and turning you off.

Sonny’s preferred headline: Dawg-gonnit! Valiant Bulldogs lose to inferior team from Tennessee

Hey, dumbass, shouldn’t you be more worried about the low graduation rates of UGA athletes? Or maybe you should try governing for a change. And how ’bout actually reading the paper you criticize — AJC columnist Mark Bradley has his tongue so far up UGA Coach Mark "Preacher" Richt’s sphincter he might as well have it surgically attached.

Obviously, Sonny has no idea how the press works (or doesn’t care). We ain’t your publicity organ. The GOV is lucky he lives in a state with only one major newspaper, one that doesn’t have a sterling reputation for investigative journalism. Fortunately, that’s starting to change — maybe Sonny’s getting nervous.

Regrettably, AJC editor Julia Wallace chose to capitulate to the numbskullery of our governor, effectively apologizing for fair coverage:

"Georgia can’t win every game, and we can’t get every headline just right," said Journal-Constitution Editor Julia Wallace. "Fortunately, our avid readers, including the governor, help keep us straight."

Way to pander to a panderer, Julia.

I’m embarrassed for us all.

Edina Monsoon would be soooo jealous

Besides being funny as hell, Sacha Baron Cohen is proving to be a master at generating publicity —

In a Paris press conference, Borat flung his mucky mirth far and wide over a range of other victims, including US President George W. Bush, Mel Gibson, Brigitte Bardot, French cuisine and Uzbekistan.

"My name Borat … I am in fact the fourth most famous person in Kazakhstan," he said, framed by a stuffed black bear and women’s underwear hanging from a clothes-line.

The preceding top three, he claimed, were a former gymnast now famed for her circus act which involved placing one of her feet in an unlikely place; "Johnny the Monkey", a children’s entertainer and children’s entertainer and porn star; and (real) Kazakh President Nursultan Nazarbayev. 

He said his "glorious leader"’s visit last month to see Bush was all in the name of promotion for his movie, and lauded the US president for being a "strong man" in the mould of John Wayne.

He also claimed the new ads vaunting Kazakhstan’s progress were "lying propogandas (sic) from assholes Uzbekistan", and warned that if they continued, "then Kazakhstan will be left with no alternative than to commence bombardment of Uzbeki cities with our catapults".

Borat’s trademark antisemistism — in fact a technique whereby Baron Cohen, who is Jewish, elicits surprising reactions from some of his unsuspecting interview subjects — came to the fore when he agreed with a certain "Melvyn Gibson" that "the Jews started all the wars".

"We also have proofs that the Jews were responsible for Hurricane Katrina and were also behind killing all the dinosaurs," he said.

France also got a taste of the comedian’s lampooning.

"It’s a great honour to be here in minor nation of France," he said, adding that all he had heard about the country’s refined cuisine was true.

"Your McDonald’s are wonderful … I eat there 15 of these delicious hamburgers," though he reflected that "today there was a problem and my anus was hanging loose like the mouth of a tired dog".

Nevertheless, he explained he was still on form should he have the occasion to meet a beautiful young actress he saw in "And God Created Woman", a (1956) movie "just out" in Kazakhstan starring the now-weathered Brigitte Bardot.

"Wawawaylaa! I would very much like to make a romance inside of her!" he said.

Cohen may very well be the next Peter Sellers, and there’s no higher compliment. May he save us all from Dane Cook, Robin Williams, Adam Sandler and their ilk.

Edina Monsoon would be soooo jealous

Besides being funny as hell, Sacha Baron Cohen is proving to be a master at generating publicity —

In a Paris press conference, Borat flung his mucky mirth far and wide over a range of other victims, including US President George W. Bush, Mel Gibson, Brigitte Bardot, French cuisine and Uzbekistan.

"My name Borat … I am in fact the fourth most famous person in Kazakhstan," he said, framed by a stuffed black bear and women’s underwear hanging from a clothes-line.

The preceding top three, he claimed, were a former gymnast now famed for her circus act which involved placing one of her feet in an unlikely place; "Johnny the Monkey", a children’s entertainer and children’s entertainer and porn star; and (real) Kazakh President Nursultan Nazarbayev. 

He said his "glorious leader"’s visit last month to see Bush was all in the name of promotion for his movie, and lauded the US president for being a "strong man" in the mould of John Wayne.

He also claimed the new ads vaunting Kazakhstan’s progress were "lying propogandas (sic) from assholes Uzbekistan", and warned that if they continued, "then Kazakhstan will be left with no alternative than to commence bombardment of Uzbeki cities with our catapults".

Borat’s trademark antisemistism — in fact a technique whereby Baron Cohen, who is Jewish, elicits surprising reactions from some of his unsuspecting interview subjects — came to the fore when he agreed with a certain "Melvyn Gibson" that "the Jews started all the wars".

"We also have proofs that the Jews were responsible for Hurricane Katrina and were also behind killing all the dinosaurs," he said.

France also got a taste of the comedian’s lampooning.

"It’s a great honour to be here in minor nation of France," he said, adding that all he had heard about the country’s refined cuisine was true.

"Your McDonald’s are wonderful … I eat there 15 of these delicious hamburgers," though he reflected that "today there was a problem and my anus was hanging loose like the mouth of a tired dog".

Nevertheless, he explained he was still on form should he have the occasion to meet a beautiful young actress he saw in "And God Created Woman", a (1956) movie "just out" in Kazakhstan starring the now-weathered Brigitte Bardot.

"Wawawaylaa! I would very much like to make a romance inside of her!" he said.

Cohen may very well be the next Peter Sellers, and there’s no higher compliment. May he save us all from Dane Cook, Robin Williams, Adam Sandler and their ilk.

First name Mister, middle name ‘period’, last name T!

The “T” is for digniTy –

Mr. T said he was offered a spot three years ago on WB’s “The Surreal Life,” featuring the likes of MC Hammer and Corey Feldman.

“Everybody on there, their careers were over,” Mr. T told Buzz recently by phone. “Sure, I hadn’t been on TV for a long time. But I do personal appearances. I did a London play. It insulted me to get me on that show.” So he just said no.

I’d love to know which play Mr. T was in — Ibsen’s “A Doll House,” perhaps?

First name Mister, middle name ‘period’, last name T!

The “T” is for digniTy –

Mr. T said he was offered a spot three years ago on WB’s “The Surreal Life,” featuring the likes of MC Hammer and Corey Feldman.

“Everybody on there, their careers were over,” Mr. T told Buzz recently by phone. “Sure, I hadn’t been on TV for a long time. But I do personal appearances. I did a London play. It insulted me to get me on that show.” So he just said no.

I’d love to know which play Mr. T was in — Ibsen’s “A Doll House,” perhaps?

First name Mister, middle name ‘period’, last name T!

The “T” is for digniTy –

Mr. T said he was offered a spot three years ago on WB’s “The Surreal Life,” featuring the likes of MC Hammer and Corey Feldman.

“Everybody on there, their careers were over,” Mr. T told Buzz recently by phone. “Sure, I hadn’t been on TV for a long time. But I do personal appearances. I did a London play. It insulted me to get me on that show.” So he just said no.

I’d love to know which play Mr. T was in — Ibsen’s “A Doll House,” perhaps?

First name Mister, middle name ‘period’, last name T!

The “T” is for digniTy –

Mr. T said he was offered a spot three years ago on WB’s “The Surreal Life,” featuring the likes of MC Hammer and Corey Feldman.

“Everybody on there, their careers were over,” Mr. T told Buzz recently by phone. “Sure, I hadn’t been on TV for a long time. But I do personal appearances. I did a London play. It insulted me to get me on that show.” So he just said no.

I’d love to know which play Mr. T was in — Ibsen’s “A Doll House,” perhaps?

Short for Edwina

Watched “Raising Arizona” again tonight — that would make 35 viewings (a conservative estimate). As good as Nic Cage was — when’s the last time I said that? — Conyers, Ga. native Holly Hunter steals the show.

Short for Edwina

Watched “Raising Arizona” again tonight — that would make 35 viewings (a conservative estimate). As good as Nic Cage was — when’s the last time I said that? — Conyers, Ga. native Holly Hunter steals the show.

Slumber logic

Malcontent correspondent Al Kosa reviews Michel Gondry’s latest, “The Science of Sleep,” starring the most delicious immigrant ever to cross the border, Gael Garcia Bernal (of “Y Tu Mama Tambien” fame) –

“The Science of Sleep” is circuitous and whimsical. It goes sideways and upside down, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s supposed to be real.

But this is no nighttime soap writing off out a season’s worth of action as a dream. This movie is long, really long, on eccentricity. Thing is, though, in its loopy way, it’s damned realistic.

The protagonist is a graphic artist named Stephane whose mom tricks him into taking a dull job so he’ll move back home to Paris from Mexico.

Stephane has vivid, weird dreams set in vivid, weird dreamscapes peopled by real people doing some regular things and some bizarre things. Just like real dreams. He sleeps in a child’s bed in what I think is his childhood bedroom full of oddball gadgets he’s invented. He falls in love with his neighbor, who’s also a creative, whimsical type.

What this movie gets right is that Stephane’s consuming love doesn’t tidily fall into place, like Hollywood crushes usually do and real life crushes almost never do. And he’s not portrayed as some starry-eyed idealist who’s nice to everybody and just misunderstood. He makes penis jokes and can be slightly crude and a nutty pain in the ass.

In other words, he’s real. Stephane, and the movie, are nuanced and complex, like real life. Stephane at times confuses dreams and reality. You’ll occasionally confuse what’s supposed to be a dream and what’s meant to be real in this movie. At bottom, though, it’s far more real than most of what’s in theaters these days. And that is a very good thing, for real.

The movie is directed by Michael Gondry, who directed and co-wrote “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” “Science of Sleep” is not quite as good as that excellent flick, but it still rates at B+.

Plenty of quality films on my to-see list, including “The Departed,” “Jesus Camp,” “Half Nelson” and, based on Al’s recommendation, “The Science of Sleep.”

Thank God summer’s over, cinematically speaking.

Slumber logic

Malcontent correspondent Al Kosa reviews Michel Gondry’s latest, “The Science of Sleep,” starring the most delicious immigrant ever to cross the border, Gael Garcia Bernal (of “Y Tu Mama Tambien” fame) –

“The Science of Sleep” is circuitous and whimsical. It goes sideways and upside down, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s supposed to be real.

But this is no nighttime soap writing off out a season’s worth of action as a dream. This movie is long, really long, on eccentricity. Thing is, though, in its loopy way, it’s damned realistic.

The protagonist is a graphic artist named Stephane whose mom tricks him into taking a dull job so he’ll move back home to Paris from Mexico.

Stephane has vivid, weird dreams set in vivid, weird dreamscapes peopled by real people doing some regular things and some bizarre things. Just like real dreams. He sleeps in a child’s bed in what I think is his childhood bedroom full of oddball gadgets he’s invented. He falls in love with his neighbor, who’s also a creative, whimsical type.

What this movie gets right is that Stephane’s consuming love doesn’t tidily fall into place, like Hollywood crushes usually do and real life crushes almost never do. And he’s not portrayed as some starry-eyed idealist who’s nice to everybody and just misunderstood. He makes penis jokes and can be slightly crude and a nutty pain in the ass.

In other words, he’s real. Stephane, and the movie, are nuanced and complex, like real life. Stephane at times confuses dreams and reality. You’ll occasionally confuse what’s supposed to be a dream and what’s meant to be real in this movie. At bottom, though, it’s far more real than most of what’s in theaters these days. And that is a very good thing, for real.

The movie is directed by Michael Gondry, who directed and co-wrote “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” “Science of Sleep” is not quite as good as that excellent flick, but it still rates at B+.

Plenty of quality films on my to-see list, including “The Departed,” “Jesus Camp,” “Half Nelson” and, based on Al’s recommendation, “The Science of Sleep.”

Thank God summer’s over, cinematically speaking.

Noted and quoted, gray area edition

“I think it’s fair to say our commission believes that there are alternatives between the stated alternatives, the ones that are out there in the political debate, of ‘stay the course’ and ‘cut and run.’ ”

–Former Secretary of State James Baker, co-chair of a bipartisan commission assessing Iraq strategy. Did you ever think you’d ever be nostalgic for Bush 41?

Maybe he doesn’t know what a comma is

Here’s the latest assessment on Iraq from our Commander in Chief (a few weeks old, but worth noting since it received so little coverage):

In the CNN interview, Wolf Blitzer asked about the continuing setbacks in Iraq. Bush, with a slight smile, replied, “Yes, you see — you see it on TV, and that’s the power of an enemy that is willing to kill innocent people. But there’s also an unbelievable will and resiliency by the Iraqi people — 12 milion people voted last December.

I like to tell people when the final history is written on Iraq, it will look like just a comma because there is — my point is, there’s a strong will for democracy. … The unity government is functioning.”

Katherine Harris scares me

And it’s not just because of all that make-up she wears. Harris is a wannabe, evangelical version of Ahmadinejad, and I’m not being hyperbolic –

Six weeks after urging voters to elect only “tried and true” Christians, Senate candidate Katherine Harris is questioning her opponent’s faith by saying he “votes completely contrary” to Christian principles.

In an interview published by a Christian news service, Harris said incumbent Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson “claims to be a Christian” but supports policies “completely contrary to what we say we believe.”

Who’s we? Dobson, Falwell, Hannity …

He (Nelson) has served as chairman and vice chairman of the National Prayer Breakfast and, when in Washington, attends weekly prayer breakfasts with other elected officials. When he flew on the space shuttle in 1986, he took a Bible with him.

Nelson issued a statement this week, saying, “My faith is the essence of my being. But it is a part of my life I don’t feel I should try to take advantage of in the public square.”

Truth be told, Harris says what many on the fundamentalist right really believe but are too politcally savvy to say out loud.

Harris said that God did not intend for the United States to be a “nation of secular laws” and that failure to elect “tried and true” Christians would allow lawmakers “to legislate sin.”

She also said “God is the one who chooses our rulers” and suggested non-Christians “don’t know better.”

When reached for comment, God said he couldn’t talk because he was too busy vomiting. A spokesman confirmed the Almighty would work to raise prices on rouge and eyeliner to get back at “that Harris bitch.”   

(The good news: the Dragon Lady has no shot at winning, trailing by as many as 30 points in some polls. Maybe Floridians aren’t as stupid as we assume.)