Like I’m not going to have the last word. Actually, I’ll let Duane (still searching for those “mean things” I said about you … and here I thought calling someone you don’t know a “self-hater” was “mean”) fall on his own sword –
Similar, but not too similar, to my thoughts on pride, a fellow atlblogger decided to say some pretty mean things about me after I said that he was self-hating because of his constant negative critique of anything and everything gay, and I know that there are at least a few of you that are interested in my response. Well, my response is that it makes me wonder about someone that continually portrays themselves as dissatisfied and unhappy with practically anything related to being gay, or gay culture (in that it may represent our culture outwardly to the overall society in ways that other people may or may not approve of), that doesn’t feel that his critique at least gives the illusion of self-hatred or denial; based on his affliation with said group. Wanting something to be “better” or “more representative” doesn’t come across through constant critique and judgement. Many of us don’t see the portrayal of, or expression of, “stereotypical” or “negative” representations of gay culture as necessarily weakening our “political movement” or “our cause”. To me, and the reason I made the statement to him, pride weekend is about a celebration of who we are, warts and all, not a political forum for furthering the “gay agenda”. If it represents us as anything, in my opinion it shows that we are just as diverse as “mainstream” society, and that while some may see us as deviant, we celebrate our uniqueness in the way that we know how; after all, something that differentiates us from the “mainstream” based on sex (the act of, not biological) carries certain sexual expressions and representations, to expect otherwise is a recipe for disappointment. I am also a believer that practically any representation of us in the media (albeit, positive, not negative) is a good thing, because it normalizes us even more, and that only the ignorant will truly believe that all gays are limp wristed nellies. If my call about him was off-kilter, it was simply a response to the many negative critiques that serve as the evidence I have seen on his blog thus far. Furthermore, I will end this by saying that I now realize that my first mistake was giving a rats ass about anything he had to say, and that I will not be making this mistake in the future. Obviously, I, along with many others, tend to get confused when people constantly critique and talk down about something they are a part of, while what they actually mean, is that they support and want to improve it.
I know this is getting tiresome, but, again, I believe it’s instructive. The above clearly — well, somewhat clearly — represents the gay party line I speak of; God help those who dissent.
By the way, Duane, the blog you’re reading is called ATL malcontent. The mission is simple — to provoke rational debate. Check back when you’re ready to engage. I’ll be here, hating myself as always.