Bitch slapped

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Nothing like a little celebrity machismo … score this round for “Entourage” star Jeremy Piven.

Piven: “Yo, what are you doing? You know you don’t need to cut the line!” 

Stephen Dorff: “I can do what I want!”

Piven: “No, you can’t!”

Dorff: “Yes, I can!”

Piven: “You’re a has-been!” 

Dorff: “At least I am a movie star – you’re only on TV! Cable TV!”

Dorff’s film credits include –

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*”Tennis, Anyone … ?”

*”Den Of Lions”

*”Shadowboxer”

*”FeardotCom”

*”Deuces Wild”

*”Entropy”

and

*”Space Truckers”

Sounds like the resume of a male Sybil Danning.

Sweet home

I have a little saying — Alabama exists only to make Georgians feel better about themselves. I’ve had to temper that, however, as one of my best friends hails from there, while my sister resides in Auburn, though I can’t resist the occassional dig at our neighbors to the west.

RoymooreBut not today. Alabamians deserve credit for roundly rejecting the candidacy of former Chief Justice Roy Moore, who received only 33 percent of the vote in the Republican primary against incumbent Gov. Bob Riley. Moore, you may recall, refused to abide by a federal judge’s order that he remove his Ten Commandments monument from the state judicial building.

Meanwhile, the results in the Democratic primary for attorney general were a bit of a puzzler. One of the candidates, Larry Darby, founder of the Atheist Law Center, received 44 percent of the Democratic vote in God’s country. Sounds downright progressive.

Not exactly. Darby is also a Holocaust denier with white supremacist views. Imagine the dilemma faced by certain voters — "Well, he don’t believe in God but he does hate Jews and coloreds."

Still, hats off to the state that created George Wallace for rejecting Moore’s demogogery. I can only hope Georgians will follow Alabama’s lead by rejecting former  Christian Coalition guru Ralph Reed’s candidacy for lieutenant governor. If we don’t, then I guess I’ll have to retire my snarky maxim.

I’m sorry … no, you’re sorry

A day after Google offered a lame apology for allowing itself to be a pawn of Communist censors, we learn the company’s international site has been virtually shut down throughout China. But Google’s Chinese language version — which blocks politically sensitive material to comply with government censorship rules — has not been affected.

“It was only to be expected that Google.com would be gradually sidelined after the censored version was launched in January,” Reporters Without Borders said in a statement.

“Google has just definitively joined the club of Western companies that comply with online censorship in China,” the organization said.

Bitch slapped

Jeremy_piven_252 Nothing like a little celebrity machismo … score this round for "Entourage" star Jeremy Piven.

Piven: "Yo, what are you doing? You know you don’t need to cut the line!" 

Stephen Dorff: "I can do what I want!"

Piven: "No, you can’t!"

Dorff: "Yes, I can!"

Piven: "You’re a has-been!" 

Dorff: "At least I am a movie star – you’re only on TV! Cable TV!"

Dorff’s film credits include — Sd14g_5

*"Tennis, Anyone … ?"

*"Den Of Lions"

*"Shadowboxer"

*"FeardotCom"

*"Deuces Wild"

*"Entropy"

and

*"Space Truckers"

Sounds like the resume of a male Sybil Danning.

I’m sorry … no, you’re sorry

A day after Google offered a lame apology for allowing itself to be a pawn of Communist censors, we learn the company’s international site has been virtually shut down throughout China. But Google’s Chinese language version — which blocks politically sensitive material to comply with government censorship rules — has not been affected.

"It was only to be expected that Google.com would be gradually sidelined after the censored version was launched in January," Reporters Without Borders said in a statement.

"Google has just definitively joined the club of Western companies that comply with online censorship in China," the organization said.

Right wing twats

Overheard on O’Reilly last night (God help me for clicking over):

“I do think we’re living in a time when people are enjoying the deaths of their loved ones.”

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–From some no-name Ann Coulter acolyte, referring to 9/11 widows who dare criticize the president. Why not just call ‘em cunts and get it over with? Seems to me that’s where our political discourse is headed — left and right down the gutter.

Forgive me if I’ve helped sell one copy of Coulter’s book, but fortunately I’m not that influential.

These are a few of my least favorite things

Actually, this union makes a lot of sense. NASCAR claims to be a sport, but I’ve never quite understood what’s sporting about having a machine do most of  your work.

Likewise, Scientology claims to be a religion, and we all know that’s bullshit. So perhaps these fellow money-grubbers deserve each other.

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Racin’ fans, brace yourselves for some couch-jumping news: Scientology is ridin’ shotgun.

A No. 27 red Taurus emblazoned with “DIANETICS” and featuring the volcano from the cover of L. Ron Hubbard’s book has been tearing around California’s Irwindale Speedway.  …

NASCAR is decidedly reluctant to comment on Scientology’s sponsorship. “This has generated a lot of interest the past few days,” NASCAR PR man Scott Warfield tells me. Not surprisingly, he didn’t want to say much more. “It’s not really something we want to comment on. It’s a minor league, small-team sponsorship deal.”

Yes, and it’s also the weirdest sponsorship since Boudreaux’s Butt Paste, the diaper-rash cream that began sponsoring a Busch Series car in 2005.

Driver Kenton Gray, of La Verne, Calif., will drive the DIANETCS car Saturday in its official debut in a NASCAR Weekly Series race in Irwindale.

Gray spouts Scientology praise with enthusiasm that would make the celebrity couple known as TomKat proud:

“‘Dianetics’ is a book that helped me in many ways since I first read it many years ago. It helped me get better control over the obstacles I had to get through to reach goals I was passionate about. It’s a great honor to have a sponsor relationship that’s so directly related to my making it this far.” (In a truly bizarre scene in March, Gray appeared at the Irwindale track with the voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright.)

The publisher of “Dianetics” is also putting together a Web site called dianeticsracing.com.

The Jehovah’s Witnesses could not be reached for comment about any possible NASCAR sponsorship.

Numerology gone mad

Creepy stuff from the old country —

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Horror film fan Suzanne Cooper yesterday named her baby Damien after the devil child in the “The Omen,” who was also born on June 6.

Suzanne went one better than the movie by hitting the full Number of the Beast with the date – 6/6/06.

Special needs teacher Suzanne, 36, was also induced for six days before Damien arrived at 6:59 a.m., tipping the scales at a spine-chilling 6lb 6oz.

She said: “We are overjoyed about the baby. The Omen is one of our favourite films and that’s why I was keeping my legs crossed for a birth on the 6th.

“It does seem a bit weird I suppose, but he’s a perfect baby – nothing at all like Damien in The Omen.”